Okay, so before I start on this, a bit of a preamble:
I was talking to Jay on Thursday and he asked me a question, “You’re a cowboy, and you’ve got your six-shooter. Now, you have six bullets in your gun. What are they? They can be people, ideas, whatever. What are your six bullets?” So I thought, what are the six things, six weapons, God has given me to stand on? It took me a while, but I think I’ve pulled out six Good little weapons. Six truths to combat the lies. Six facts to remind me of God’s love.
I’ll go ahead and list them right now:
Now, I’m not going to list out specific friends and specific family right this very second, because that is something I’m saving for my graduation stuff… I dunno what I’m gonna do exactly, but I’ll wait for that one. The other four, well, here they are:
Some time ago my dad told me that he realized I need something he doesn’t: Intellectual Stimulation. I love to debate, I love to think. One of the reasons I like bands like Demon Hunter and Nightwish is their lyrics affect you on a deeper, intellectual, level. Demon Hunter’s lyrics are just… amazing, the same with Nightwish, in a lot of ways.
The Bible says to love the Lord your God with all your mind. I think for me, that’s a very important thing to be doing. I need to love God with my mind. Its kind funny, because I’m a very emotional person, in a lot of ways my emotions guide my decisions more than facts and figures. I know what I believe, but I believe it because it “feels right…”
And I’m now rambling… so I’ll stop.
Ahhh this one. To be honest, the meaning of nationbuilding, while seemingly simple, is actually a whole lot more complicated. I mean… okay, a nation builder builds nations. But what does that mean? Does it mean law? Does it mean police? Does it mean a leading intellectual? A scientist? A doctor? All of these people can help “build” their nation. Another thing: what is a nation? For me, I’ve always assumed when God told me this he meant a “nation” in the modern sense of a “country” the US, Bangladesh, these are nations. But then Jay told me that a nation, really, can mean any group of people with a similar cause or like. “Red Sox Nation” for instance, are the Red Sox fans. Someone who promotes video games and works to make video games more popular could be considered a “nationbuilder” under this definition. I do think God is calling me to specific, country nations (particularly my own, the United States of America), but it’s always good to know that brief dips into other nations would, after a fashion, fit with this idea of nationbuilding.
This one is fun because in many ways it’s the opposite of my own personality. If I haven’t asked God to grant me peace at least once a week (I probably ask… 2-5 times a week?) then something is wrong. I want Peace, and I do not have in, a lot of ways. Bangladesh’s greatest problem is the nation is not at peace. The people here are always angry, I see this in the Game Café, I saw it just last Friday. I was playing DotA and on my team there were these two… not so good players. Now, I won’t blame them for not being good, and I have NEVER yelled at someone or insulted someone because they didn’t play good. I might tell them how to improve, or say “you are not a good player” but I won’t do it in a bad way (calling people noobs, or cursing at them, for instance). I also never leave games, on or offline. These are commitments I make as a good sportsman. These guys… they broke every single one of my rules. First of all, neither of them really knew how to play very well. They were okay, but not good and they made a lot of mistakes. What really got me though was one of them called me a noob (ME?! A NOOB?! Not only did it hurt but it was… a lie), and then after he got hammered, over and over again because he wasn’t really playing that well, he LEFT. Now, I was angry, but I held myself. It wouldn’t do any good, yelling at this guy. But then… the other guy… the other noob, he stopped playing (didn’t pause the game, just stopped playing) and then proceeded to yell at the guy (no clue what he said, it was bangla) and then Jacob says he actually hit the guy. That… that got me really angry. Again, I held myself together (when we left I screamed about it a bit… I’m not proud of the language I used, actually, but it was exactly how I felt, honestly). These guys were angry, and I see that in people all the time. You don’t just explode like that… there is something in the background, something that has built up over time and infected you. I don’t just blow up, things build up, then I explode. Bangladesh needs peace.
Okay… that was a bit of a detour, but I think I’ve expressed my point pretty well. As far as I can tell, there is a Spirit of Anger that has established itself in this nation. The result is God has given me a spirit of Peace. I am a man of Peace. I struggle with anger, but I know I can overcome. I will overcome. I will be the man God wants me to be, a man of peace.
Another fun one, this is. Recently, I realized I need to trust more. I have always been a very closed person, to be honest. There are things I have never shared with even my best friends. Only two people (God and my dad) know a lot of things I have done or said.
It’s not just trusting other people, but its trusting God as well. Life is hard, but God loves us. If we trust God, then life should be easier, because we can know, without a shadow of a doubt, that what is happening is the best possible thing for us, no matter how bad it might seem. I remember I had this huge fight with my parents just last week, a lot of things came out (such as my constant struggle with rejection), and my dad really challenged me when he said, “Trust God” because well, that was what I was not doing. I was letting my emotions, my (limited) knowledge guide me and find make decisions based off that, not off what was best for me from God’s perspective. Now, I will say, last week did not go as I would have wanted it to, but I had a good time, I had a fun time. I was where God wanted me to be. I need to trust God so that when another situation like this comes (where my emotions and my knowledge tell me one thing, but God clearly tells me another) that I can trust in God to do the right thing.
So yes, those are the 4 “truths” or “facts” I want to sand on. The other two really go into a list of people who have influenced me and been a great help in my life. I won’t share the details of them just yet, but I do plan on sharing them eventually.