Saturday, January 23, 2010

Thoughts on Life

You know, it’s funny. 4 years ago I had the most awesome group of friends. There were, I think, like 7 of us (2 of which weren’t around much that last year) and we had all sorts of fun. Now all of those guys have left. Depending on different things, 3 of them probably will never come to Bangladesh again. Ever.

And now, I’m leaving too. It’s a weird thought. Really weird. I mean, I’m ready, but… I’m not? When I was a little kid, maybe 8 years ago, I had this cool idea that me and my family (mainly grandparents) and all my friends from India and Bangladesh could all live on this one street in the US and we could visit each other all the time and we’d never have to worry about not seeing each other because we were half-way around the world. Well, once again, I kinda wish life was like that.

Right now, my best friend is in Chicago, he’s been there for 1.5 years now. Another one of my friends is doing a Short-Term missions thing in Hong-Kong. Another is in school in Minnesota. 4 are here in Dhaka (though one will leave in about a week, for New Zealand). For a long time, even if we didn’t live in Dhaka, we still had family here and we would still see each other 2-3 times a year during the holidays. But, that’s not going to be the case anymore with some of these guys. I have friends who live in Australia and New Zealand, and they won’t be coming to the States most likely. I have friends who may never leave Bangladesh, and while I will come back, it won’t be like I’m coming back all the time, 2-3 times, at the most.

Anyways… it’s any interesting thing, Growing up. 10 years ago I had no idea what my life would entail. I was a little kid. Now I’m adult who has been given a wonderful picture of what I’m supposed to do with my life, at least for the next 4-6 years.

I have, if I’m counting correctly about 18 weeks in Banglaesh. Then I won’t be coming back for possibly 12 months. This will be my longest time away from some of my best friends. It’s… wow. Its both awesome and thrilling, and amazingly depressing. It really depends on my mood. I’m a good mood now so its exiciting, but in the back of my head there is this thought that life will suck and I’ll fail everything in College because I’ll get all depressed and miss my family.

I mean… I know that won’t happen… but what if it does? Argh. Stupid brain thinking stupid things. I don’t need these thoughts!

Oh, and Rhasta is a pwnage-bbq-awesome hero in DotA. B)

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